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Perfectionism

Do you struggle with self-criticism, fear of failure, or difficulty in “calling it a day”? These could be signs of perfectionism, a persistent pursuit of flawlessness that affects not only you, but also those around you.

Perfectionism can take the form of demanding absolute perfection from yourself and others, leading to negative impacts on relationships. In therapy, we’ll delve into how your perfectionistic tendencies affect your relationships and work towards finding a healthier balance.


Perfectionism may seem attractive, but it can ultimately hinder your work efficiency and productivity by draining your energy, enthusiasm, and optimism, which are crucial for success in any field.


Discover how therapy for perfectionism can help you find balance and achieve your goals. Our therapists focus on your beliefs and unhelpful demands, leading to more realistic and achievable goals, increased happiness, and improved work efficiency and productivity.

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What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism describes persistent patterns of behavior, emotions, and thoughts. It's a psychological trait that affects how we behave and feel. Simply put, it's a drive to achieve flawlessness in all areas of life, sometimes to a harmful degree. While striving for excellence is admirable, perfectionism can cause anxiety, stress, and depression.


What are the Main Signs of Perfectionism?

There are three main forms of this psychological trait [1]:


Self-oriented Perfectionism

This is the most well-known form and represents extreme conscientiousness. You believe everything must be perfect or not done at all. Signs include:

  • Extreme self-criticism

  • Different standards for others versus yourself

  • Neglecting important activities for perfectionistic standards

  • Anxiety about incomplete tasks

  • Procrastination from fear of inadequacy

  • Impostor syndrome

  • Limited social activities


Socially-prescribed Perfectionism

This type believes others expect perfection in both productivity and social settings. Signs include:

  • High self-consciousness in social situations

  • Oversensitivity to criticism

  • Constant effort to meet others' expectations

  • Poor assertiveness

  • Overthinking others' behavior

  • Social anxiety

  • Avoidance of social situations

  • Negative interpretation of others' actions

  • Excessive worry about others' opinions


This form represents extreme agreeableness and sensitivity to others' thoughts.


Other-oriented Perfectionism

This form involves being overly demanding of others. Signs include:

  • Harsh criticism of others

  • Double standards

  • Condescending behavior

  • Poor relationships

  • Suspicion of others' motives

  • Belief that demanding behavior prevents exploitation

  • Irritability with those who don't meet expectations


How is Perfectionism Maintained?

Self-oriented Perfectionism: Using a woodworking example: When pursuing perfection in a project, challenges lead to frustration and anxiety. This either causes project abandonment or endless work, reinforcing the belief that everything must be perfect. The cycle drains energy and joy.


Socially-prescribed Perfectionism: Over-concern with others' expectations leads to self-consciousness and anxiety in social situations. Avoiding these situations reinforces perfectionistic beliefs about social performance.


Other-oriented Perfectionism: Hypercritical reactions to others' mistakes create defensive responses, perpetuating a cycle of negative behavior. This self-fulfilling prophecy can worsen relationships and reinforce perfectionist tendencies.


What Causes Perfectionism?

Different types of perfectionism have varying causes, linked to traits like conscientiousness, self-orientation, and agreeableness.


Heritage

Genetic predisposition plays a role, but environmental factors determine how it manifests. For example, genetic tendencies may not develop into perfectionism if raised with reasonable expectations.


Environment

Key environmental factors include:

  • Parenting style: Strict or overly critical parenting can increase perfectionist tendencies

  • Culture: Social codes can lead to socially-prescribed perfectionism

  • Social circle: Bullying can contribute to perfectionist behaviors

  • Later life experiences: Critical work environments can develop perfectionism in adults


When should I get Therapy for Perfectionism?

Seek help if you notice:

  • Difficulty completing tasks due to constant self-criticism

  • Excessive criticism of others affecting relationships

  • Overwhelming concern about others' opinions


These signs correspond to different types of perfectionism with varying consequences:

  • Self-oriented perfectionism leads to burnout

  • Socially-prescribed perfectionism links to Social Anxiety

  • Other-oriented perfectionism causes relationship problems


Does Perfectionism Therapy Work?

Yes. CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) have proven effective through scientific studies [2].


What's the Best Therapy Approach for Perfectionism?

Main approaches include:

  • Psychodynamic therapy: For other-oriented perfectionism with narcissistic traits

  • CBT: Most tested for self-oriented and socially-prescribed perfectionism


CBT Therapy for Perfectionism

CBT shows 75% improvement after 10 sessions, working through:

  • Identifying negative thoughts

  • Recognizing irrational beliefs

  • Building adaptive beliefs


Benefits of Therapy for Perfectionism

Key benefits include:

  • Reduced self-criticism

  • Better productivity

  • Less anxiety

  • Improved social confidence

  • Better relationships

  • Higher self-esteem

  • Enhanced quality of life


How Long Does Perfectionism Treatment Last?

Ten sessions of CBT or ACT typically show significant improvement. More severe cases linked to depression or personality disorders may require longer treatment.


Does Online Therapy Work for Perfectionism?

Yes, studies show online CBT effectively reduces perfectionism and improves psychological functioning [3].


Tips to Manage Perfectionism

Self-help strategies:

  • Get outside perspectives

  • Schedule relaxation time

  • Compare your standards with others

  • Recognize perfectionism is changeable

  • Evaluate self-standards versus standards for others

  • Focus on completion rather than perfection



If you're looking for help with something you're struggling with, book your in-depth assessment now.


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